A Better Way To Pray

What is prayer? Is it simply asking God for things? Is it a medium whereby a needy man demands from a stingy God? No. Prayer is to a believer what communication is to a marriage. Prayer is a two-way communication with a loving Father. It often starts as a monologue but should mature into a heart-to-heart dialogue with God. Hence, the admonition, “pray without ceasing” is not an end in itself. Prayer is not the focus of prayer. God is. To pray without ceasing is to relate with God on a continual basis. It is primarily a relationship with the Creator. When you pray without ceasing, you will walk before him to perfection Genesis 17:1.

Prayer requires teaching. That was why the disciples asked the Lord Jesus, “Teach us to pray” Luke 11:1. Prayer needs to be learned. Just as men learn to communicate effectively with their wives through marriage seminars, couple meetings, counseling, teachings etc, all believers should learn to pray God’s way. While dialogue with God mirrors our relationship with our earthly father, there are important differences. For example, our earthly father does not know all our needs all the time. The heavenly One does. Matthew 6:7. Our human father is limited in capacity and ability in contrast to God who is unlimited in all things. What you get from your earthly father may depend on his mood, prevailing circumstances and economic standing. Our Heavenly Father is never moody, grumpy, lacking or tired.

The better way to pray is not new. It is just different from what we are used to. While prayer is communication, it is contacting a Supreme Being who never fails, and can never lie. He is a God who keeps His promises.

Certain attributes make our prayers ineffective. Sin is an obvious one but there are others not so obvious but serious enough to warrant mention by our Lord Jesus. Prayer is not showmanship.

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth; they have received their reward in full” Matthew 6:5

If our motive in prayer is anything but a dialogue with God, our prayer is a waste of time. When our language is different or we are louder or we engage in unusual movements just to be noticed of men, our prayer is limited to this earth. If we are still trying to impress people when we pray, we do not know how to pray yet.

True prayer is a transaction from our hearts to God’s.

^“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6

This passage is not saying that the only time we pray is when we are behind closed doors. Otherwise we’ll be restricted to our bedrooms in order to fulfill the Scripture that says, “Pray without ceasing”. The principle is that regardless of the environment where prayer is conducted, it is always a deal between the “pray-er” and God who answers prayers. The prayer must be from the heart otherwise it does not get to God’s heart. Your prayer must be God-focused even when you are praying with other people.

Vain repetitions are not necessary. Human beings may need to be cajoled, bribed, manipulated, nagged and encouraged to act. Such actions do not move God.

“And when you pray, do not heap up phrases (multiply words, repeating the same ones over and over) as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard for their much speaking. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him”. Matthew 6:7-8 Amplified.

The quantity of words used in prayer does not correspond to increased possibility of getting an answer from God. Our God does not suffer from memory loss. He is neither deaf nor ignorant. He knows all our needs before we ever ask Him. (Matthew 6:8).

The Model Prayer

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen”. Matthew 6:9-13.

The model prayer given to us by the Lord Jesus starts and ends with worship. In an emergency, one may simply cry out, “Lord save me!” But for most of our prayer lives, our praise should be more than our petition (asking). Someone said, "Do not tell God how great your problems are. Tell your problems how great your God is". Our worship should be more than our wants. Our giving to God should be more than our getting from Him.

This pattern is frequent in the Scriptures.

“In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God” Philippians 4:6

Note the phrase, “supplication with thanksgiving”. The former is ineffective without the latter. Without praise, prayer often yields no fruit.

“Pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18.

Notice again the relationship between praying and worship. The acknowledgment of the Almighty affirms the relationship between the Giver and the receiver.

There are several benefits to worshiping God before asking. Worship affirms God’s preeminence in our lives. Why should we raise our hope on a limited being? Why do we need to ask God that which we think He may not be able to do? Any prayer that does not believe in God’s supremacy is a waste of time and effort.

Another reason worship should precede prayer is that it increases our faith. Without faith, we cannot receive from God. Worship enables, energizes and increases our faith in the limitless, boundless God. Praise also increases God’s presence in our lives because He inhabits the praises of His people. (Psalms 22:3).

There are several examples of prayers in the Bible that are very instructive.

”When they heard this, they raised their voices together in prayer to God. “Sovereign Lord," they said, "you made the heaven and the earth and the sea, and everything in them. You spoke by the Holy Spirit through the mouth of your servant, our father David: 'Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth take their stand and the rulers gather together against the Lord and against his Anointed One. Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus."

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly” Acts 4:24-31.

Note that the grey shaded part is worship and the green shaded part is request. The whole prayer is shaded to show the ratio of praise to petition.

“Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.”Abba, Father," he said, "Everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:35-36.

“So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."

When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" John 11:41-43.

It is obvious from this passage that Jesus’ praise is more than petition.

Our prayers must be focused on glorifying God, not self. A great example is modeled for us by the prayer of Hezekiah.

Hezekiah received the letter from the messengers and read it. Then he went up to the temple of the LORD and spread it out before the LORD. And Hezekiah prayed to the LORD: "O LORD, God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Give ear, O LORD, and hear; open your eyes, O LORD, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the living God.

"It is true, O LORD, that the Assyrian kings have laid waste these nations and their lands. They have thrown their gods into the fire and destroyed them, for they were not gods but only wood and stone, fashioned by men's hands. Now, O LORD our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all kingdoms on earth may know that you alone, O LORD, are God."

Then Isaiah son of Amoz sent a message to Hezekiah: "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: I have heard your prayer concerning Sennacherib king of Assyria. 2 Kings 19:14-20.

You will note that this prayer is God-focused. Hezekiah could have simply prayed out of fear and be concerned for his own survival and that of the people of Judah. Rather, he aimed his prayer at God’s glory. A brother looking for a future partner can pray as follows: “Dear Lord, I am old enough to marry. Most of my contemporaries are now married and I am tired of attending their wedding ceremonies. You know I was brought up by my grandmother who is now 80 years old. I want her to witness my wedding before she passes on”.

A better way to pray is to change the focus heavenward. An example is, “Heavenly Father, you started marriage in Genesis when you gave Eve to Adam. You are the One who led Abraham’s servant on the way to find Rebecca for Isaac. Your Word says, “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord”. My desire is to marry and establish a godly home where your will is established, your Word is honored and your purpose for my life is fulfilled. Therefore, direct my steps to that woman, my favor from you, in Jesus name”. This prayer aims at glorifying God and is a better way to pray.

When Solomon was asked by the Lord to ask for anything, he was not focused on self but on God. He asked for wisdom to fulfill God’s purpose for his life and by so doing, he had everything any man can ever have.

“At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, "Ask for whatever you want me to give you."

Solomon answered, "You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.

"Now, O LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?"

The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both riches and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life." 1 Kings 3:4-14.

As we learn to focus on God’s will in our prayers, we shall begin to receive answers that will make our ears to tingle.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15.

Most of the times, believers pray according to their own will, need, comfort, luxury or survival. That is partly why our prayers are not answered.

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James 4:3.

For many years, Hannah sought the Lord’s face for a child. No answer came until she turned her request to center it on the Giver of Life. She prayed, “O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your handmaid and remember, and not forget Your handmaid but will give me a son, I will give him to the Lord all his life; no razor shall touch his head.” 1 Samuel 1:11.

Be determined from today that all your prayers will center on God’s glory and will. Anything less is not worth praying for. If any request cannot be framed to center on God’s purpose, it is a waste of time asking Him in the first place.